April's Rest by Jack Littlejohn has an incredibly long setup. A large portion of the story is spent emphasizing Jason's depression, which could easily be covered by a paragraph or two. By the time anything of significance happens, the story is nearly over. When the source of the mysterious events is finally revealed, the ending is rushed. More over, the epilogue is drawn out and includes a lot of information which, again, focuses more on Jason than the story plot.
I think the author would be better off turning this into a flash fiction piece which focuses on the oak tree and the history of the house, rather than focusing on Jason.
I'm tired of explaining why editing can make or break a story, so I'm just going to post this:
 |
| http://kodyboye.com/publishingservices/ |
As always,
AstraDaemon
No comments:
Post a Comment