Driving down a quiet, pitch black road in the middle of the national park, Emily concentrated as much as she could. Lost in her thoughts she had to frequently remind herself that she needed to concentrate. Clasping the steering wheel and fighting back emotions she breathed deeply to stay focused. It was the dead of night and the cars headlights illuminated nothing but tarmac and the foot of trees lining both sides of the road. She glances over at the passenger seat and looks at the supermarket shopping bag sitting there. Rapidly blinking and wrestling with her thoughts she puts her hand on the bag. Her hand shaking as she starts to rummage through the bag, then suddenly there was a dull thud underneath the car.
LYING IN WAIT by A.M. Dawkins is a flash fiction story filled with a rather disjointed storyline. Emily is distracted by her need for whiskey. Something has happened to her husband, but readers never find out why he's missing, which is a huge distraction. The description of her attackers is somewhat vague. The ending seems unfinished.
I think the author should have chosen a different format for this story idea. Fifty pages or more would have worked better than ten pages.
As always,
AstraDaemon
I used to write flash fiction a lot and always found it hard to figure out where the line was between too much and too little.
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