Is This A Joke?!

What is the most dire situation have you been in? Jaffrey Concoost is just starting to build a life in the city when an unlikely event takes place, he and the rest of the employees gets to be part of an act of crime. With only a single reason to hold on to dear life, will he be able to continue his journey, to buy a house, a new car, and make his dreams come true?

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Three Dead Bodies by Damien Cords is another editing nightmare. I found this story looking using an Amazon horror search, but this is a drama at best. Impossible to relate to the main character in any way, as his thoughts are all over the place. Describing the antagonist as a "mysterious black man" over and over shows a serious lack of effort. I could go down a list of writing atrocities, but I'd rather move on to the next item on my list.

As always,
AstraDaemon

Bloody Hell, Hire An Editor

Steve is out for revenge.He has endured three years of bullying at his place of work. So arriving unannounced at the Christmas works do and armed to the teeth he makes sure this will be a Christmas they will never forget.

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Bully by C.S. Hassall is a difficult read due to multiple editing and formatting issues. I'm not sure if the author tried to write a legitimate a story or just bang out a revenge fantasy. Steve definitely comes across as a disgruntled employee, but Hassall spends more time describing the setting than revealing his character's thoughts and feelings. A flashback would have given the story more depth.

I think this story had potential, but it appears the author published a rough draft.

As always,
AstraDaemon

Road Rage Gone Wrong

The Stranger by Kathy Dinisi is basically a crappy mix of Jeepers Creepers and Joy Ride. The beginning is good enough to hook readers with a photographer trying to get home within a specific amount of time, but it goes downhill quickly after that. There isn't enough suspense to elicit any fear. There's not much to the main character either, so I didn't feel anything for her. Maybe if the author had stuck to real-life horror instead of involving the supernatural angle, I might have felt something.

As always,
AstraDaemon

The Chirping of Beds

Terror By Night written by Vishual Persaud might have been a good story if not for the horrific lack of editing. I'm not referring to typos (although there are plenty)...the sentence structure and haphazard story line left me feeling haggard, not entertained. I swear, I'm not even entirely certain what the hell this story is supposed to be about.

At first, I thought it might be about night terrors caused by family dysfunction, then I thought it might be a story about demonic possession. Unfortunately, the writing style became so chaotic, by chapter four, I no longer recognized anything resembling a story form. The ending explains why nothing makes any sense, but I doubt many readers would bother finishing this story.

As always,
AstraDaemon

Forget The Bookshelf, Grab A Toilet

Asylum by M.L. Irwin is about four friends who have to survive a night in an old asylum. I wanted to give it a chance, despite a warning from a one-star review, but the writing is awful...the author is obviously fond of adjectives and not much else. The characters are severely two-dimensional. I've stepped in puddles with more depth. There are interesting moments, such as a childhood flashback by Lisa and the urban legend, but both are just as poorly written as the rest of the story. The graphic rape scene seemed completely unnecessary. I really hate when authors use violence as a replacement for suspense and drama.

This story is the perfect example of what NOT to do when writing a story.

As always,
AstraDaemon