WTF Did I Just Read?!!

DEATH IS NOT THE END, DADDY by Nate Allen is not a horror story, it's a revolting piece of crap with two insane characters. One is a hallucinating child murderer and the other is a hallucinating bible thumper. The author uses child rape and the killing of children as a plot device to spread his idea of faith.

Even if I didn't have a problem with the perverse theology, I would still take issue with the story format. The POV is constantly switching after just a few pages each, and, as a result, the main characters come across as two sides of the same twisted coin.

I'm sure this story is a favorite with the priests who like to molest little kids, or the cults which victimize children in the name of Jesus. I hope Amazon pulls this sick garbage off their site.

As always,
AstraDaemon

This Story Is Inbred

Insanity breeds insanity. You do whatever it takes to keep your family together, no matter how depraved.

DISTURBED by Emery LeeAnn is just violence for the sake of violence. It takes more than graphic brutality to create a true horror story. There is no suspense or mystery, and very little dialogue. I don't expect much character development in a short story, but I expected something more as far as the twisted family is concerned.

As always,
AstraDaemon

Get Serious, Please

Short fiction story about Katelyn, a college student, who is kidnapped by a serial killer from a bar in Portland, Oregon.

Katelyn Caged by Liz Livingston is a flash fiction mess...pieces thrown haphazardly together. The dialogue is basic, the characters flat and the POV switches are quite sloppy. Don't even get me started on the ridiculous time jump.

If Livingston wants to be taken seriously as a writer, she needs to get an editor to help transform this into something resembling an actual story.

As always,
AstraDaemon

July 4th Disappointment

American Horror Stories

"The Lady in Lavender"
Callie was horrifically abused by her husband in the late 1800’s. She was helpless in how to protect her children or herself and poisoned him. Because of her guilt she came back to haunt the area where she lived. 


“A Scarecrow for Maggie”
Maggie, an artist at heart makes scarecrows for the locals where she lives in Kentucky to make extra money. When she starts making money from her scarecrows, things start getting nasty.

"A Little Trick or Treat Surprise"
When Maddie takes her children trick or treating for Halloween she finds that not everyone is like the loving people in her family.

"Be Careful about the Promises You Make" 
Have you ever wondered what happens if someone who promises to come back from the dead really does?

American Horror Stories by Shana Dines is a collection of attempted short stories featuring female characters suffering various types of abuse. I say "attempted" because the lack of professional editing is painfully obvious, and, no, I am not referring to mere typos.

The first story glossed over the abuse, the self-defense, the main character herself, and even the ending with little Sara, which I expected to be the crucial point...instead, the lack of both details and suspense leaves readers with a severely underdeveloped plot.

The second story went downhill fast when it is revealed the main character married her cousin because "she really didn't know she had a choice." More time is spent listing the incest-rape encounters with her dad and brothers. I expected something paranormal, only to discover an alternate ending, which the author should have used in the first place. (If you want your characters to have a happy ending, maybe choose another genre to write.)

The third story stood out from the rest. It's more of a novelette than a short story, with a romantic theme, rather than horror, not unlike a condensed coming of age story. Unfortunately, there are a lot of unnecessary details. I don't think the entire relationship history is necessary at all. A few flashbacks might have been a better way of helping readers understand the mindset of Maddie, before her encounter with the neighborhood sicko.

The last story had me convinced the author has a fixation with sexual deviancy. Rather than invest in an editor and submit these stories in the erotica genre, Dines labeled her work "horror," even though there is little to no suspense, minimal action and a pitiful cast of characters.

If the author is serious about writing, I strongly suggest getting an editor for future projects.

As always,
AstraDaemon

This Is Not How It Works..

A plague has incapacitated humanity, spreading across the globe faster than it could ever possibly be contained. Almost overnight the world is awakened to a new reality and the realization that no one is safe, not a single living soul. 

As the virus takes control, humanity is brought crashing to its knees. The few left untouched fight frantically for their survival, even as they know their future no longer exists, doing the unimaginable at the brink of death.

Undead Winter by T.M. Williams is apparently a work in progress, being developed from a novella to a full-length novel, and really shouldn't have been released before it's finished. I think a lot of readers are going to be disappointed with the way this edition ends. Last but not least, I hope the completed novel will include another round of editing.

That said, the basis of this novel is an interesting twist on the zombie genre. There is such an abundance of undead stories, I appreciate any time an author is able to create something new, rather than regurgitate the same chewed up storylines. With ever-changing POVs and an overwhelming sense of despair, readers will feel as thought they are suffering alongside the characters.

Too bad this is an incomplete edition...

As always,
AstraDaemon

Like Finding a Turd On Your Lawn

In this short tale of brutality, a teen, living in a world gone awry, contemplates his vicious lifestyle.

Cursed by D.W. Nathan is more of an enigma than anything. A group of boys are torturing another boy as they drag him off to be killed. The story is narrated by one of the cruel boys, but not much is revealed. Readers aren't told much about their "lifestyle." The setting is dystopian, but it's unclear why the kids seem to have the run of the place. There is a moment suggesting people have turned into cannibals to survive, but, again, the narrator focuses mostly on the state of the victim.

I think Terry could've provided a better ending than the narrator's half-assed epiphany. I even thought something supernatural might happen at the top of the hill, but, no, the author dragged readers up those rocks for a fart-in-the-wind ending.

As always,
AstraDaemon

Forgot To Include The Story

Verne's Momma had one rule which could never be broken. He could not reveal to any outsider what went on within their house. Verne knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that to violate that rule was to bring unholy tortures down onto his head.

And so not a word passed his lips. Not during the twenty-five years he lived in the dank basement, curled up on the thin mattress.

Not during the ten long years of his prison sentence.

Until he made the mistake...

Death Watch by Lisa Shea isn't really a horror story. Very little is revealed about Verne's time in the basement or why exactly he ended up in prison...just disjointed memories...bits and pieces about the situation, even less about the characters. Seemed rather pointless.

As always,
AstraDaemon

What A Joke

Janie is a troubled young woman who struggles with her own past and future when she discovers that her mother has terminal cancer.

But what is it that Janie’s so scared of? And can Nan’s red rug save her?

Indefinite Fear by R.H. Dixon is a flash fiction piece of setup...felt like I read the introduction of something that lead absolutely nowhere. Instead of a story, most of the Kindle file is just an excuse to advertise for something else. Pretty damn sad when an author would rather push "bonus" chapters, instead of offering readers an actual story.

I've enjoyed Dixon's writing in the past, but this will probably be the last time I bother with this author.

As always,

AstraDaemon

Kindle Spamming

After a hundred of years of overpopulation and resource scarcity on Earth, the Generation program dispatches its first ship. The large vessel, Generation-01, is destined to colonize the Trappist system, 40 light years away. In transit, however, the crew encounters an unforeseen difficulty, jeopardizing their dreams for a new future. Will they find a solution, or will Generation-01 be pulled into the depths of a massive star?

Gen-01 by Zachariah Wahrer has an interesting concept, but this flash fiction piece pales in comparison to Wahrer's other short stories. It seems like he wrote a few pages of "story" just to advertise his sci-fi novel series. I chose the story to be entertained, but now I feel spammed.

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This type of bait and switch is happening more and more with Kindle stories on Amazon, with both short stories and novels...readers expecting a decent story, only to be greeted with promos from the author. Granted, authors can do whatever they like with their e-files, but it's ridiculous when the advertisements take up more space than the actual story.

As always,
AstraDaemon

Hire An Editor, Save A Story

The Fog Wraith by Lucas Leuzzi centers around a pond with a secret. The setup is long and unnecessary, followed by little-to-no action and a poor use of suspense. The characters are severely underdeveloped, even for a short story, and the author should have put more effort into the flashback within the journal. The pond's history could have made a good horror story, but a professional editor is the only one who can salvage this.

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Most people probably think a short story isn't important enough to require a professional editor, but I think if you're seriously considering writing as a full-time career, you need to invest in making a good first impression. With all the stories readers have to choose from, the last thing they want to deal with is poorly written fiction. Win a reader over and you have a possible fan for life.

Editors do so much more than correct spelling, punctuation and grammar. They can help with character development, storyline pacing and the setting. Freelance editors aren't as expensive as you might think they are. Keep in mind, they want your story to succeed as much as you do. They want to make a good impression in the literary community as well. Best of all, a freelance editor works for the author, not a publisher. You can't accomplish your best writing by yourself.

As always,
AstraDaemon

UPDATE 1/21/2018: The author re-released the story to eliminate my Amazon review, after he ranted at me on Facebook.

I would never tell someone to stop writing, but I do include criticism and suggestions from time to time.

If you're going to sell your stories on Amazon, customers have the right to post honest reviews.

Something Something Something

The Death Machine by Tony Rabig doesn't really go anywhere, ever. I'm not sure why it is listed in the horror genre on Amazon, when it's clearly missing key components such as suspense and action of any kind. It's as if the author wrote an esoteric essay and tried, unsuccessfully, to disguise it as flash fiction. I normally enjoy thinking stories, but this one is all thinking and no story.

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I appreciate authors who attempt to do more than merely entertain with their creations, but every now and then, I stumble across an author who seems only interested in letting readers know what a deep-thinker he is...or how smart she is...and they seem to miss the entire point of storytelling. It's not unlike a movie filled with amazing special effects and zero plot.

When approaching fiction in any genre, readers expect to be entertained. Reading is not something that can be done passively...when such an effort is put forth, it's only natural to want something in return. The number one reason most people read fiction is to escape reality and experience something new. Who wants to go through a door, only to find themselves in an empty closet?

As always,
AstraDaemon

Is This A Joke?!

What is the most dire situation have you been in? Jaffrey Concoost is just starting to build a life in the city when an unlikely event takes place, he and the rest of the employees gets to be part of an act of crime. With only a single reason to hold on to dear life, will he be able to continue his journey, to buy a house, a new car, and make his dreams come true?

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Three Dead Bodies by Damien Cords is another editing nightmare. I found this story looking using an Amazon horror search, but this is a drama at best. Impossible to relate to the main character in any way, as his thoughts are all over the place. Describing the antagonist as a "mysterious black man" over and over shows a serious lack of effort. I could go down a list of writing atrocities, but I'd rather move on to the next item on my list.

As always,
AstraDaemon

Bloody Hell, Hire An Editor

Steve is out for revenge.He has endured three years of bullying at his place of work. So arriving unannounced at the Christmas works do and armed to the teeth he makes sure this will be a Christmas they will never forget.

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Bully by C.S. Hassall is a difficult read due to multiple editing and formatting issues. I'm not sure if the author tried to write a legitimate a story or just bang out a revenge fantasy. Steve definitely comes across as a disgruntled employee, but Hassall spends more time describing the setting than revealing his character's thoughts and feelings. A flashback would have given the story more depth.

I think this story had potential, but it appears the author published a rough draft.

As always,
AstraDaemon

"Kept His Ass Closed" (sic)

The Penn by Christina Charles is another fine example of why authors should use a professional editor. I don't care if it is a short story...this took some serious effort to read through to the end. This could have been a decent revenge story if more effort had been put into the writing process. I can't tell you how hard I laughed when I read "kept his ASS closed" (instead of eyes) in a prison story!

I wouldn't recommend this one to any reader. It's as if the author didn't care enough about her own work to attempt to clean it up.

As always,
AstraDaemon

Road Rage Gone Wrong

The Stranger by Kathy Dinisi is basically a crappy mix of Jeepers Creepers and Joy Ride. The beginning is good enough to hook readers with a photographer trying to get home within a specific amount of time, but it goes downhill quickly after that. There isn't enough suspense to elicit any fear. There's not much to the main character either, so I didn't feel anything for her. Maybe if the author had stuck to real-life horror instead of involving the supernatural angle, I might have felt something.

As always,
AstraDaemon

The Chirping of Beds

Terror By Night written by Vishual Persaud might have been a good story if not for the horrific lack of editing. I'm not referring to typos (although there are plenty)...the sentence structure and haphazard story line left me feeling haggard, not entertained. I swear, I'm not even entirely certain what the hell this story is supposed to be about.

At first, I thought it might be about night terrors caused by family dysfunction, then I thought it might be a story about demonic possession. Unfortunately, the writing style became so chaotic, by chapter four, I no longer recognized anything resembling a story form. The ending explains why nothing makes any sense, but I doubt many readers would bother finishing this story.

As always,
AstraDaemon

Forget The Bookshelf, Grab A Toilet

Asylum by M.L. Irwin is about four friends who have to survive a night in an old asylum. I wanted to give it a chance, despite a warning from a one-star review, but the writing is awful...the author is obviously fond of adjectives and not much else. The characters are severely two-dimensional. I've stepped in puddles with more depth. There are interesting moments, such as a childhood flashback by Lisa and the urban legend, but both are just as poorly written as the rest of the story. The graphic rape scene seemed completely unnecessary. I really hate when authors use violence as a replacement for suspense and drama.

This story is the perfect example of what NOT to do when writing a story.

As always,
AstraDaemon

Toxic People...Like The Lousy Author

Toxic Love by J Asheley Brown is a collection of flash fiction stories that serve no real purpose other than to exploit victims. "Read these stories and get the conversation started about abuse in all of its destructive forms. You just might be able to reach a life and save it." What a damn joke. Having characters get beaten or raped, or find out their significant others are cheating is simply not good enough if the the author isn't going to bother including any real drama or suspense. Violence for the sake of violence is not story-telling. Flash fiction doesn't mean skipping any attempt at writing with substance.

As always,
AstraDaemon

My Eyes Hurt

Backwood Babies by R.P. Healy makes me think the author probably strokes quite a few out to movies like Wrong Turn, not because of Eliza Dushku, but because the inbred mutants get Healy all hot and bothered...or maybe a movie like I Spit On Your Grave. I have read all kinds of trash, but this has some seriously limited vocabulary describing some very basic torture fantasy. Even if I didn't find the entire story offensive, the writing is simply atrocious. No plot at all.

As always,
AstraDaemon

Monday Murder: Killing The Written Word [review]

An Anthology of Short Stories and Poems by Colby Lane, Mason Casey, Patrick Murphy, and Jayson Bradshaw seems like it was written by a bunch of middleschoolers.

Reading this "anthology" was more like finding someone's notebook filled with random story ideas...mostly flash fiction, with a few short stories and scattered poems. The poetry is the best part. The flash fiction is pointless, and the short stories are not only poorly written, but some of them appeared to be ripoffs of other people's work.

There is one story in particular that could land the authors in a lawsuit. I strongly suggest pulling this off Amazon, before that happens.

The authors should focus on a collection of poetry instead.

As always,
AstraDaemon